CoT#1 w/adjustment

I'd like Celestial U to be a lifestyle change for me rather than a process for me to accomplish a bunch of things and then revert back to my old ways. So.. in doing this goal, I've decided that I will read at least two articles from the Ensign each month.  (Today I read at least five, but I don't want to set myself up for failure.)  After perusing through the Ensign I was reminded how much I enjoy it!

I was struck by two things today while reading. The nearly overpowering thought I had was how self-image profoundly affects how the Spirit affects us. Nearly every article that I read touched on this.  They ranged from solutions to help overcome, how 'different' we see ourselves from others,  how our feelings about ourselves can affect our relationships, how our past can affect our choices now because of fear for the future, and when difficulties arise, we often forget who we REALLY are.  I was touched by all of these articles, but most especially when thinking about our view of ourselves changing our relationships with others. The story is told by a woman who nearly calls off her engagement because of the way that she has discounted herself for many years. She had convinced herself that she was less than she was. This was eye opening for me. I just read this morning, so I haven't been able to wrap my head around exactly how to apply this in my life, but I know that I have fears and have also discounted myself in certain areas in order to be able to deal with unfulfilled expectations (giving and receiving). I've realize that 'safe mode' isn't neccessarily healthy mode. So.. I suppose I'll come back to this  "'Tis better to have loved and lost, Than never to have loved at all" regardless of how cliche it seems... Or maybe I'd just tweak it to say, Tis better to have been true to thyself and be disappointed, than never to have been true... 

I've always loved the principle in the gospel that we are responsible for what we want; receiving revelation,  getting off our knees and getting what we want, etc. Reading this article opened my eyes to the fact that Heavenly Father gave us the Gift of the Holy Ghost because HE wants US to receive revelation, not just that he does provide answers because WE want them. I've always known that its my job to seek for answers, but I've never thought far enough along that path to realized that is because he wants us to have them! Maybe I'm just slow...

I'm uplifted. Thanks Ensign!